AU Evaluation of A Letter by A Citizen to President Bush Analysis

I’m working on a creative writing question and need guidance to help me learn.

  • Response to a Writing SampleYou will evaluate the writing sample at the end of the weekly PowerPoints. In your critique, you will:
    • evaluate and address the strengths and weaknesses
    • examine whether, in its context, the sample succeeds in its purpose
    • determine the pattern of mistakes in grammar, punctuation, spelling, usage, etc.
    • give examples of these errors from the sample
    • address any problems that the writer needs to take into account in the revision
    • propose specific changes to improve the sample in the revision.
    • What other problems do you notice? If the letter’s author were to want to improve the letter, what specific measures could he or she take to improve it?
      • What is the letter about? To whom is it addressed? What are the letter’s strengths? What are its weaknesses?
      • Do you think the letter succeeds in its purpose? Is it appropriate to the audience?
      • What kinds of mistakes do you notice? Do they seem to follow a pattern? If so, describe it. What examples can you draw from the letter to support your observation?
      • What other problems do you notice? If the letter’s author were to want to improve the letter, what specific measures could he or she take to improve it?

Dear Bush LetterA concerned citizen wrote a letter to the president pleading with him to end the war.

  • Dear President Bush,I am writing because I would like to tell you to stop the war. Its not fare that the soldiers are fighting for nothing. I believe that the war is unfair and it will do more harm than good.We are Americans and we have a lot of our own problems. How can we help someone in another country when we have not been helping ourselves. The poverty disparity is very high. The rich continue to make money while the poor can barely keep small change in their pocket. After school programs, gym programs, and art programs are being cut all over because there is no money to fund it. In an effort to try to defend our way of life, our educational system is moving backward.

    This backward movement is depriving the children of the US, who are supposed to be the most privileged. How can we bring one nation to modernity and move into the prehistoric ourselves. I feel like sometimes this war is not about us. I fell like it is a personal disagreement. I feel like we are a neglected child. As a result of cutbacks in schools and a complete lack of attention to children, we have taken away the creativity and fun of our children’s youth. Our children are obese. They are not creative, choosing mindless music and television shows instead of making more cultured choices. Our children, because we have cut the programs that would have normally kept them off the street, have been affected by the allure of violent activities

    President Bush, please stop the war. Bring our troops home and return these parents to their children. Return the children to the parents. Put American families back together. Put America back together.

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