Editing Sentences to Improve Style Revise these sentences to make them smoother, less wordy, and…

 Editing Sentences to Improve Style

Revise these sentences to make them smoother, less wordy, and easier to read. Eliminate jargon and repetition. Keep the information; you may reword or reorganize it. If the original is not clear, you may need to add information to write a clear revision.

1. The report that was completed by the finance department organizes essential information in a quite unsatisfactory manner.

2. Few of our customers who are most valued seek to obtain goods and services from another vendor, but we must remain ever vigilant in the business environment to better ensure that these such customers continue in their loyal efforts with our establishment.

3. Per your inquiry, Carla Meier is quite possibly the best and finest member of our staff that we have every had the distinct pleasure to have known and worked with.

 4. Following are distinct reasons to retain your current policy with Interstate Insurance:

• Convenient claims submissions.

• An agent who is fully prepared to help you to the fullest.

• web page.

5. Planning meetings will be held during next month at different dates and times. These meetings will help us to plan for the upcoming conversion to a revised HR system. Meeting times to devise the plan will be as follows

: May 3, 2–3 PM

  May 10, 2–3 PM

  May 17, 2–3 PM

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