Revising the essay

I already finished and revised my whole essay (3500words) and especially chapter 1 (revision of Border Policy essay), from another person.

However, if you could advise or lead better, please change it for me.

Also, I can send you my previous essay about “Our Border Policy” for chapter 1.

Final Analytical Research Essay: For your final paper, you expand one of your previous essays to include secondary sources and an extended examination of an application of your idea.


The required parts of your final paper are as follows:

  1. An introduction in which you set up your topic of inquiry and working thesis (at least 300 words).
  2. One chapter comprised of a revised version of your essay about “Our Border Policy” (at least 825 words, the length of a 3-page essay).
  3. One chapter in which you examine one or two applications of the idea that you developed in your revised essay (at least 825 words, the length of a 3-page essay)
  4. A conclusion in which you explain why you evolved and overall thesis matters (at least 300 words).
  5. A Works Cited Section (MLA in-text citation format)
  6. A 250-word reflection and explanation, describing what you attempted to do in your final paper and how you incorporated the techniques that you learned over the course of the quarter.

Your final paper should be at least 2500 words (at least a 10-page essay), including all of the above.

Some suggestions for how to start and for how to write your final paper:

For the first chapter of my research paper, I set up the problem or issue that I will be discussing and analyzing. Chapter 1 is a set-up for the second chapter, emphasizing the specific application of my idea.

In other words, my second chapter will be about applying your idea to your own evidence, and your final paper will go from general (chapter 1 set up of issue/problem) to specific (chapter 2 application to your own evidence). Another way to organize your final paper is to set up your idea/problem in your introduction and then use your two chapters to serve as applications of your idea. In this case, you will revise your previous essay to develop an application of your idea. The second chapter of your final paper will be another application of your idea.

Revise your previous essay to set up your idea in the first chapter. For your second chapter, use a representative example from any of the possible evidence that you list. Focus on one case and make your overall thesis evolve with it.

Please consider the below is the GRADING Criteria:

RHETORIC (60 pts)


(+) the essay clearly responds to the assignment; the point and thrust of the essay is conveyed and maintained in every paragraph; direction, progression and purpose are clear and unmistakable throughout the essay

(-) unstated thesis; a broad, unfocused topic; major/minor assertions and examples don’t connect; the specific points of development are neither stated nor implied; what is being written about isn’t always clear or purposeful


(+) logical, meaningful order; first and last paragraphs effectively begin and end the essay; skillful use of transition words and statements; logically consecutive paragraphs; supporting examples, quotations, etc., are effectively organized and placed

(-) abrupt and unexplained shifts in the development of the essay; no clear connection between ideas; an arbitrary order of paragraphs; unnecessarily short, choppy paragraphs; transitions missing


(+) a significant thesis and argument worth making; convincing, valid explanations and arguments in support of assertions; solid, relevant evidence; thorough, meaningful, insightful development of the thesis; intellectually engaging, stimulating ideas

(-) thesis implications not fully addressed; main and supporting ideas are insufficiently developed; major/minor assertions and/or supporting materials are obvious, shallow, unconvincing; quotations and paraphrased material are misused

STYLE (25 pts)


(+) sentence variety; use of the active voice; appropriate, exact, and purposeful diction; clarity, unmistakably apt sentences

(-) bloated or awkward sentence structure; wordiness; overly informal vocabulary; inaccurate word choices; sentences rendered confusing or incoherent through grammatical or syntactical errors


(+) individuality; serious intent; independent thinking; clearly defined point of view

(-) lack of effort; stereotyped thinking; cliches; heavily dependent on quotation and summary; lack of analysis

EDITING (15 pts)


(+)complete, insightful, specific peer responses

(-)incomplete, very general peer responses


(+)typed; double-spaced; standard (1-inch) margins

(-)Spelling errors; text not proofread; typos

Again, I already finished and revised my whole essay (3500words) and especially chapter 1 (revision of Border Policy essay), from another person.

However, if you could advise or lead better, please change it for me.

Also, I can send you my previous essay about “Our Border Policy” for chapter 1.

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